By: Ashleigh G. Whittington | Jan 1, 2025

I like the sound of 2025. It feels very futuristic, very Jetsons vibes. The start of a new year, especially if you are on social media, tends to confront us with all the ways we can start fresh, change ourselves, continue to add to our list of skills, projects, demands, tasks. Optimization and improvement are always key. Here’s my response to those ideas: No thank you. We have just finished the holiday season, which for most of us is at least two months long. We have been cooking, baking, shopping, going to parties, hosting parties, cleaning the house, traveling, staying in other’s homes, having other people stay in our homes, managing expectations and emotions, and oh yeah, making sure that we are always reveling in the joy of the season. Then, immediately, we are supposed to switch gears and now be incredibly disciplined and organized as we attempt to change some fundamental thing about ourselves (often the same fundamental thing we tried to change last year). And look, I’m not saying we shouldn’t be working to better ourselves, I think that's fundamental to being a well-rounded human. But I think the pressure to do it "right" after a potentially very busy, very stressful time really hinders our ability to make any of that progress. Instead, it often leads us down the path of self-flagellation and eventually the inability to maintain these massive shifts for more than a month.

During this time of year, we’re meant to be resting and slowing down, taking time to care for ourselves and leaning into what we need to feel nourished and grounded. Instead, we are instructed to push as hard as we can: completely change your diet, start an intense bootcamp 5 days a week, keep up with the ever-growing list of demands you have placed on yourself in order to become the version of yourself you think the world needs you to be. It’s exhausting! I don’t say all this to demonize the idea of resolutions and change, if you’re someone who responds well to them and enjoys making them at the start of the year, more power to you. But after years of being someone who demanded myself to change, I started to become someone who allowed myself the time and the space to change (or not change). If that idea resonates with you, here’s a few tips I have found helpful as I continue to navigate this Resolutions Reframe (can I trademark that? Probably not. Please don’t sue me if you already have.):

Take a breath, tune into your body

The power of a deep breath cannot be understated. If you’re feeling overwhelmed with all the “shoulds” you have either placed on yourself or feel have been placed upon you, pause, take a couple of deep breaths and allow yourself to feel the ground under your feet or your seat in the chair. Tune into your body for a moment and ask it what it needs in order to feel good. It might not answer you right away but give it a beat and keep listening.

Do one thing at a time

If you do have a list of resolutions or ambitions for the year, do one thing at a time. Speaking from experience, I am continuously frustrated by the number of unfinished projects I see when looking around my house. It can feel like I’m underwater and I’m never going to catch up; then something happens that’s out of my control, like water damage from a hurricane, and all those plans continue to go unfinished for who knows how long. This year, even though the list still exists, I am not allowing myself to look at anything other than number 1 until it’s done. If that means I only get one thing done this year, that’s ok, because that’s a huge accomplishment! When we give ourselves too many tasks, our nervous system rebels and it can make us feel pretty terrible. If there’s a way to avoid feeling terrible this year, l'm all for trying it!

Be flexible

Allow your goals to shift as needed. You don’t have to stick to anything you wrote down initially, it’s not a binding contract. You might even find yourself shifting from “here’s what I’m going to learn/start/change”, to “here’s what I’m going to unlearn/finish/appreciate”. You may find that you want to work towards unlearning old patterns or ways of thinking, or that something you thought you needed to change about yourself, actually becomes something essential to you that you love about yourself. None of it is prescriptive, go back to tip #1 to slow down and hear what you truly need.

Give yourself grace and seek out support

You are doing a good job. Whenever the little devil on your shoulder pops up to tell you otherwise, repeat that to yourself. Positive self-talk can do absolute wonders for us, and if that sounds impossible, I promise you it isn’t, especially with the right support system. Perhaps a partner, friend, therapist, nutritionist (hi!), movement practitioner (hi again!), or any combination of those are necessary this year for helping you feel like you deserve all the love and the beauty and the joy that you absolutely do.

Happy new year: enjoy, relax, and reach out when you need help. Let’s making this the year of supporting each other and caring for both ourselves and our fellow humans.